If You Can't Beat 'Em, Move In With 'Em: The Continuing Adventures of Hurricane Cindy
If you really want to know how to score with the chicks... Dubya is your man. Seriously. They meet him once, and they just can't stay away.
I mean, look at the hoops he's got this righteous babe jumping through just for the chance to meet him...for at least the third time:
"We decided to buy property in Crawford to use until George's resignation or impeachment, which we all hope is soon for the sake of the world," Sheehan said in a newsletter set to be sent to supporters Thursday. "I can't think of a better way to use Casey's insurance money than for peace, and I am sure that Casey approves."That's right...he's got her so flustered that she's willing to drop a big ol' chunk of change just to buy a little ol' chunk of land, on which to pitch a big ol' tent she won't be spending more than a couple weeks at a time in.
The only problem is....well, she's really shy. So much so that she just can't quite bring herself to approach her prospective new neighbors on her own. (I wonder why.)
In fact, she's so afraid of the spotlight, she had to send in one of her little buddies to buy the land for her:
Gerry Fonseca, a fellow war protester who acted as Sheehan's agent, said he recently bought the vacant lot about a mile from downtown Crawford -- and about 7 miles from Bush's ranch -- for $52,500. About half the land is pasture, and the other half is woods, he said.
"If Cindy Sheehan came to town, I don't think anybody would have sold her any property," Fonseca, of Eagle Rock, Missouri, said Thursday.
But that's not all. She knew that if she was going to pull this off, her little buddy would need to put a really good sob story together. If he didn't, none of those bad ol' Republican-Texan-white-guy types would want to sell the land to him, and she'd never gaze into Georgie's loving eyes again except for that big poster on the wall of her bedroom.How convenient that her little buddy already had one:
[Crawford resident Bobby D.] Ramsey, who soon may find unexpected neighbors when protesters move into a huge tent on the property he sold, said he was unaware before the sale that it would be used by Sheehan to host Camp Casey in August.Yes, she is even willing to exploit the Hurricane Katrina tragedy in one more sad attempt to borrow another 15 minutes of attention from
"(Fonseca) said he was going to build a home and, one day, a shop (on the land)," Ramsey said Thursday, speaking from his adjacent property in Crawford. "He told me that Katrina wiped him out.. . . . It didn’t even occur to me that he could use it for this."
Fonseca confirmed he never indicated to his new neighbors that the land would be transferred to Sheehan, but he said that was always the plan. He said the $52,500 used to pay for the property — a spread of rustic, wooded prairie with no houses — came from Sheehan and her Gold Star Families for Peace.
Man, if that's not love, what is?
I tell ya, though...I'm starting to get a little worried. I mean, if pretending to starve herself on national television didn't do the trick, and this "new neighbor" ploy doesn't work....
....do we have something like this to look forward to?
Dear Lord, I hope not.