Schoolhouse Crock: The Things Kids Do To Get A Day Off....

Friends...neighbors....we were all kids once.

We all remember the crazy stunts we pulled to try to get out of having to go to school.
Come on, own up. We ALL did. (Yeah, you in the back...I see you snickering back there.)

I know I went through a lot of effort to perfect my fake cough. Practiced in front of the mirror and everything. About half the time, it actually worked, too. (Please don't tell my mom.)

Well, folks, I think it is safe to say that the days of holding the thermometer up against a light bulb to fake a fever are officially behind us now....thanks to yet another "victim".

No, you didn't misread that article....some little chicklet decided that she wasn't happy at her school. (Interesting, I think, that the article made a point of mentioning that it was a Christian school. Wonder why?)
So she decided that the only thing to do to remedy the situation was to mail fake threatening letters to some of her black friends and classmates, and get a decent portion of the school's minority population evacuated and put up in hotels last week....all so she wouldn't have to attend classes there.
She confessed to the hoax and was arrested. She is now out on bond.

Who is this paragon of tolerance and selflessness, you ask? The one whose name "was not immediately released"?

Don't ask me, friends....ask Mary Mitchell, who is apparently ALL over this.

Now, according to Mary, there's even more to endear us to this little princess.
Now it comes out that Little Miss Victim has started telling people that "authorities" forced her to make the confession. (What...the MAN made her do it?)

All, it turns out, because she really wanted to attend a black school.

Oh yeah...did I mention that? SHE'S black, too.

Yep...she actually threatened those of her OWN skin color just to get away with playin' hooky.

I ask you...whatever happened to slippin' a frog into the teacher's desk when she wasn't looking?
Then the other kids would at least get a laugh out of it.

Tip o'the rock to Jim Quinn, from whom I heard about this on the radio while taking my own son to school this morning...who is gettin' pretty good at that cough trick himself, by the way.