Resistance is Futile (Just Ask My Cat)
And so, may it please the court, I now humbly introduce a member of my family whose august presence has been heretofore unannounced.
Ladies and gentlemen...
...meet Greebo. (He's the handsome fellow on the left.)
Anyone who has ever read the various Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett knows that Greebo is named for one of the most magnificently malevolent examples of feline superiority ever to grace the written page. Our own cat's personality does not miss the mark by much.
Pursuant to this, here is a summarization (as near as we can tell, anyway) of "Greebo's Laws of the Universe":
First Law: A litter box is a mere formality which may be ignored at any convenient opportunity.
Second Law: Anything not nailed down is to be considered fair game for being knocked around the floor, torn to shreds, sat on, eaten, or taken away for storage in the aforementioned litter box.
Third Law: Anything which can be removed from its current position, by whatever means at paw, is to be considered "not nailed down".
Fourth Law: Anything or anyone currently in motion throughout the house, under its own power or otherwise, is also to be considered "not nailed down".
Despite this rather selfish world view, an apparent IQ approaching that of a rather badly bruised eggplant, and the self-preservation instinct of a stunned lemming, we have pretty much decided to keep him around. (He amuses us so.)
Indeed, he does occasionally show signs of intellect. That is to say, he seems to recognize when it is time to not get underfoot (usually when no one is walking around the house in any case), and when it is time for some serious sucking-up (usually when he has just been caught observing "Greebo's First Law").
Well, that...and he has a knack for looking really cool perched on your shoulder. Can't argue with that.